Sunday: A Day Off, Not So Much

Sunday- A Day Off, Not So Much

1:30 am: Almost done. Dishes stored. Floor reset. Countdown to square 1. Chimes. TEXT: “Chef, my ex is acting all crazy again, I want to come in but he will probably follow me. Can you come and open with me?” This f*cking guy again? Somebody needs to kick his disrespecting okole. No ha (breath/life), no aloha. REPLY: “Sure, be safe.”

2:15 am: Pillows from heaven. Bed, finally. An Angel? Wife’s voice, “you know you have to go and meet her.” Drifting. “I already said I will. How was the kid’s performance?” They practiced on the Grille’s private terrace the other day. Parents know, kids assume we don’t see. “They did really good, I’ll show you the videos in the morning.” What was life before video?

5 am: There is a time too early for coffee. Here it is. Awake in darkness. Roll down the Waimea hill. Tiny lights of a waking island. Road Warriors. Triathletes on mid-morning sessions. Resort workers arrive from across the island. Tourists gather to stroll. Sprinklers land water spots on rental cars.

5:30 am: Park & scan. “Morning Chef!” All clear. “Morning, I can see your crazy ex is not here. Let’s get set this morning, we have a 20pax (person) at 11am. Tonight at 6pm is a party of 60 so we can also start prep.”

6:30 am: Office e-mails. “Aloha Chef, I know I said we were going to have 60 but it will probably be less, is that ok?” REPLY: “Not a problem, how many less?” Sent.

8 am: Kitchen fired up. Eggs cracking. Cooks focused. Honey brushed on bacon slices. Time for me to butcher. Get out ahead of dinner service. Chop, chop.

10:30 am: Check-in. No unread e-mails. Check-in. “How does the private dining room look? The party of 20 will be in soon.” “Good, all set Chef, but I cannot work it. I am slammed in the main dining room. Can someone else do it?” Do the shuffle. “Ok, I will take the drink orders and we will have Lisa take the food.”

11 am: Restaurant is slamming. Seats full. Bar full. 20 top welcome. Food almost done. Time saver: drink orders. “Aloha, can I get you drinks to kick off?” Maybe 10 minutes. “Oh, no. We are just having water and we are starving.” Ok maybe no minutes, ducking wonderful. Food is close. “Alright, we are keeping the food warm and it will be right out.”

11:10 am: Back in the kitchen, “How long until the food is finished?” “5 minutes Chef.” Not bad. “Ok, good job guys, once this food is out it’s on to prep the 109’s (bone-in ribeye). There’s a 60-top tonight but it will probably be less. I’m just waiting to see the final number.”

11:30 am: E-mails. No final number. Be ready for anything. Wife calls, wants to know how long till I leave. “Sorry Hun, I might as well stay and finish up for this party tonight. Go ahead and take the kids to Hilo.”

11:45 am: “Chef, what else do we offer gluten-free?” You worked here for one year and you still do not know what gluten free is? “Local catch, wrap, and we have the gluten free pasta.”

12 Noon: Chimes. TEXT: “Aloha Chef, Mike here, are we still meeting to finish taxes?” REPLY: “Sorry Mike, I had to go in again this morning, let’s do next week.” Great, I’ve cancelled on family, taxes, what’s next? Back to prep.

1:30 pm: Throw 2 prime ribs in the oven. Need time to rest, the meat and me.

2:30 pm: Unopened e-mail: “Aloha Chef, I am really sorry but we only have 18 people arriving for the party.” Profuse profanities. 18 out of 60. I have enough food for 60 people. REPLY: “I have food for 60 people, we will need to discuss the charges.”

3:30 pm: Emerge from the office. Looking for initiative, not so much. Dining room still not set. Bartender sampling wines with a vendor. Staff gaggling about anything but the party. “Oh, hell no! You guys need to get your shit together. The dining room isn’t going to set itself and clean that bar.” I need focused people, now, right now. “You, Wino, take your bottles before I throw them out the door.” Half-kidding, or was I?

Some regulars are in for happy hour. They gesture to me and say hello. Enjoying themselves. Entertaining High Maka Makas and 1933 Mai Tais. Mai Bacon, BBQ sauce. James Bond marathon. Casino Royale.

5:30 pm: Dining room set. Time to party. A few guests take pictures in the foyer and out on the green. Coordinator arrives. “Hi Chef, I am sorry about the reduction in numbers. What will be a fair charge for dinner tonight?” “You guaranteed 60 people so I think you should pay for 40. I have your food bought and most of it cooked or prepped. It’s not like I can use it for something else.” Here comes the rebuttal. “40? I was thinking more like 20. My boss is not going to be happy about this. You will need to talk with him.” 20? You’re kidding, what an insult. “Sure, just come in the kitchen when he arrives and we can straighten this out.” He is not my boss.

5:45 pm: The coordinator enters new territory. “Chef, may we enter? This is Michael.” The decision maker. Game face on. “Hey Michael, I was explaining about the cost of the party and I will still need to charge you for 40 people.” “Are you sure? Look, I have my own business, you can charge me for all 60.” Day. Made. “Thank you very much.” Hand shake. Hand shake. Party time. “Howard, he loves McCallan 12. Get him a double neat and whatever he wants to drink tonight. It’s on us.”

The party sits down to the meal. They love the food. Paired with three bottles of McCallan 12 year aged single malt Scotch whisky. They appreciated us and we returned the gesture. Great Scots & Mahalos!

11pm: E-mail rundown. Clean kitchen. Go home.

Hell of a day off.



Dinner Waits for No Fish, or Man.

Dinner Waits for No Fish, or Man.

11am: RING, RING! “Thank you for calling Mai Grille at Waikoloa Beach. How can I help you?” “I was told you specialize in modern farm to table. If you do, I would like to make a reservation for 3 people at 7:30 pm under Smith. The party might be slightly larger.” “Yes we do Sir and we can accommodate. See you at 7:30 pm.” Why does everyone want to eat at 7:30 pm? It is the busiest time at night for every restaurant in the US. Lunch service is slow. That is fine, I finally can catch up on paper work.

1pm: RING, RING! “Thank you for calling Mai Grille at Waikoloa Beach. How can I help you?” “Hi Chef, it is Tom. I need to bring down the cost on our wedding. Can you give me an itemized quote for all the items you will be serving?” “I sent that in the last e-mail and this is the 6th quote I have given you.” “Yes I saw that but, how can 1 cook cost $250 for a salad station?” “Tom, you are paying for the cook to prep the food, drive to your house, set up his own station, make 100 farm to table salads, break it all down, and then return to the restaurant.” “Well, we need to talk. I will be down at Mai Grille at 5pm.” “I am very busy today, I don’t think I can meet with you.” “It will be fast.” “You said that last time. It was my day off and you were an hour late, please do not be late.” Tom is renting some bungalows for the week of the wedding that is costing him $37,000. He is questioning a $250 cook? Come on.

4:45pm: I tell my manager to let anyone asking for me know I will be in a staff meeting AND my whole fish, which we roast, still has not arrived. I figure I can do a 30 minute meeting. Hopefully the fish will arrive and by 5:30pm I will be ready to talk salads.

5:15pm: No Tom, but fish. Whole Snapper has arrived. Dinner service waits for no man, better start on the fish.

5:30pm: Still no Tom, but I am almost finished with the fish. Cell phone vibrates. New Text Message: “Chef, just left the house, be there soon.” Reply: “You are already 30 min late. I have to get ready for dinner service so I will not be able to meet.” Sent.

5:55pm: “Chef, Tom is here.” “Tell him sorry but I do not have time.” “He said he is going to wait for you.” “Let him know he will be waiting all night.” “Ok.” 5 minutes later. “Tom just left and he is pissed.” Some people! Orders rolling in, better call out the tickets.

Let me jump on my soapbox here. Why do some people think, because we are a restaurant, the prices are negotiable and our time is not important? Go into a grocery store, demand to see the manager, and then negotiate pricing. Try it, they will enjoy the unusual experience. Meanwhile, dealing with these characters is a reality of the restaurant industry.

I really believe all people should have to work in a restaurant, at least once in their life. This environment is one of few where you are required to explain yourself, good or bad, and answer to the customer directly. If you do not live up to each individual’s standards, they expect a full refund. They didn’t like my cooking style, the dish, or waited longer than expected. Customer satisfaction, it’s a moving target. They go online to give Chef Allen Hess or Mai Grille a bad review. Now, imagine if we could do this with the cable company, cell phone provider, HELCO (electric) or, hell, even your spouse….Love you Honey 🙂 .

7:30pm “Chef, Smith party is here. He is upset we do not have a table for him.” “Yes we do.” “I don’t know Chef but he is mad. Can you talk to him?” “Sure.” “Aloha Mr. Smith, what can I do for you?” “We are here with 10 people.” “OH, O.K. We were not ready for 10 people. Give me a minute and we will set you up.” “Well, I told the person on the phone the party might be larger. Apparently, he did not relay the message.” Well buddy you said the party might get slightly larger, 3 up to 10 people is not “slightly”. “I understand Sir, but 3 people to 10 people is quite a large jump.” “Just get me my table.” I throw a knowing look at my staffer. “SCOTTY, make the man a drink and let’s get them sat.” “YES CHEF!”

Sure enough, Mr. Smith, a cocktail in hand, settled right down. He later asked me to come out and talk story with him about the dinner. “We love your food, Chef, where have you trained?” “I worked with a Chef in Louisiana, named John Besh; a high end private resort in the Caribbean, I then moved back to San Francisco and worked at Pan Pacific; a country club in Los Angeles, and, of course, Hawaii with Roy Yamaguchi, Peter Merriman and Alan Wong.”

He was intrigued with the chef profession and the travel. We talked more, about wines and my approach to our wine list, foods of Israel and had an overall great talk. He ended up leaving happy and so was I. In our business, nothing makes Chefs happier than a happy guest.

We have lots going on throughout the day and many characters in our business. There is a reason for the common saying, “if you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.” It is because this business, good and bad, is either in you or it is not.

9pm: Wash dishes, put in produce and meat orders. Text my fisherman to find out what is coming in tomorrow.

10:30pm: Home, early for once. Drink a bottle of Big Island Brewhaus, kiss the kids and wife goodnight and read some Hemingway.

[Note: Guest names have been changed, any similarity is a coincidence.]